Your Best Life (Part 2)
A few years ago, when I first started studying positive psychology in earnest, I was assigned a classic exercise. This simple writing prompt is one that I now invite my coaching clients to complete, often before our first meeting. The prompt (famously studied by Laura King) goes something like this:
Think about your “best life,” 10-15 years in the future. Imagine that everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of your life goals. Think of this as the realization of all your dreams. Now, write about what you imagined for 20 minutes.
King found that undergraduate students who completed this prompt on just four consecutive days experienced an increase in mood and physical well-being. Even better, the impact on physical health (measured by decreased visits to the campus health center) persisted as long as five months after the initial exercise!
It might seem like one pass at this would be enough, but in my experience the greatest value lies in doing the exercise multiple times. Sometimes clients find they dream bigger with each session. Others appreciate the opportunity to “test out” different versions of their ideal future, sometimes realizing that options that initially seemed to be in conflict share important threads that hold them together.
When I do this exercise, every few years, I follow these three steps:
Repeat the prompt multiple times without looking back at what I have written on previous days.
Sit down and read through all the drafts together in one sitting, underlining key words and phrases.
Journal about the common themes that appear (for me, often: writing, community, physical vitality, loving relationships)
Here’s the magic part: The exercise asks about a time far in the future, but I find that as soon as I write these dreams down, I start taking steps in their direction. For example, I realized a few years ago that although I couldn’t retire anytime soon, I do have the flexibility to claim time in the mornings for the things that matter most to me. Since my energy and creativity are highest in the morning, this allows me to prioritize exercise and my own writing before diving into client work.
Even small steps in the direction of my highest hopes for myself made me feel great! That’s eudaimonia in action.
Feel free to try the Best Life activity on your own—I’d love to hear what you discover! And if you are ready to start taking steps toward your own dreamy future--I’d love to chat with you about that, too.
Warmly,
Jill
